Books have the power to shape, influence, and change our lives. Why is that so? What goes into a book that can shape lives? To address this we are interviewing people who can share a story about a book that changed their life, and why. As a part of our series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Maria Leonard Olsen.
Maria Leonard Olsen is a civil litigation attorney, author, journalist, podcaster, TEDx speaker and mentor to women in recovery. She is based in Washington, D.C. Learn more about her work at www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow her on social media @FiftyAfter50.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory” and how you grew up?
Igrew up biracial in a white suburb of Washington, D.C. I remember always feeling a bit out of place, as a dark-skinned person in predominantly white schools, neighborhoods and jobs. Then my parents divorced, which was cause for excommunication from the Catholic church at the time, which contributed to my feeling of otherness. I escaped through books, and was a very good student. Later, I turned to alcohol to escape my feelings, and went to several rehabs to address my alcoholism. I have been sober for ten years now, and help other women find a better way of living.
Let’s talk about what you are doing now, and how you achieved the success that you currently enjoy. Can you tell our readers a bit about the work you are doing?
I make a living as an attorney in a litigation law firm, but my passion is writing and public speaking that can help others. My TEDx Talk, Turning Life’s Challenges into a Force for Good, is part of that endeavor. I have written numerous articles and have given many talks on self-care. I also have written books on elevating one’s life. I have a podcast called, Becoming Your Best Version, in which I interview women who inspire me.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Being a good listener is important. People want to feel heard. I often ask people more questions about themselves and their work, which makes many people open up to me. My friends say I would make a good talk show host. That is likely why I started my own podcast.
Being resourceful also is crucial to success. When I arrived to begin studies at a top-ten law school, I felt afraid that I could not compete with my Ivy League classmates. But I could. I may not have the IQ of the smartest people around me, but I know how to find the answers. I also am adept at cultivating contacts and maintaining them.
Third, I would say, is always being open to learning. The more we challenge our brains, the healthier our mental state is likely to be. I take steps to expand my perspective. One way is through travel and learning about other cultures. Studies show that diverse employees improve a company’s products and marketing. I have found that to be the case.
What’s the WHY behind the work that you do? Please share a story about this if you can.
I want to pay it forward. We all benefit from the kindness and guidance of others. My immigrant mother and alcoholic father were not in a position to help me much when I was a child, but I found other mentors. I try to be a mentor to others.
When I was a young lawyer at one of the biggest law firms in Washington, D.C., there was a partner who was very demanding towards me and would not settle for less than excellence from me. At first, I could not figure out why. But I came to understand that it was because she cared about me and wanted me to succeed. She helped me become a better writer and advocate, and I am grateful she took the time to help me.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
When I was very young, my best friend’s mother helped me feel that I was worthy and loved. I was a latch-key kid with divorced, working parents. This woman welcomed me in her home at any time. She is one of the most generous people I have met.
Awesome! Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. I’m an author and I believe that books have the power to change lives. Can you please tell our readers about “The Book That Changed Your Life”? Can you share a story about how it impacted you?
I would like to start by telling your readers about the book I wrote that changed my life. 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life. When I turned 50, my life was in shambles. I had gotten divorced, sober, became an empty nester and was living alone for the first time in my life. I felt rudderless. As a gift to myself for my 50th birthday, I decided to try 50 new things to determine how I wanted to live the next chapter of my life. People who heard about this wanted a copy of my list. I decided that I should share what I learned with the world, so I pitched the book idea to an agent, who got me a good publisher. The book did well. When I give book talks, many approach me in tears telling me how I have helped them not feel so alone.
I believe everyone would benefit from examining their lives, and putting it in writing helps. Many do this via journaling. I think there is a big appetite in our culture for biography and memoir because people want to know how others overcame life’s challenges. We find it instructive, as well as comforting to know we are not alone.
In my book, I mention several of the books that changed my life. One is a seminal book by Toltec shaman, don Miguel Ruiz, called The Four Agreements. It helped me learn how not to take things personally. All of us have different realities that are an amalgam of our disparate experiences. It helped me cultivate compassion of others. I cannot possibly know what burdens another person carries.
Another was concentration camp survivor, Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. He underscored the message that everything can be taken from us but one thing — the ability to choose one’s attitude in any situation. That helps me make better choices and not allow others to steal my serenity.
What was the moment or series of events that made you decide that you wanted to take a specific course of action based on the inspiration from the book? Can you share a story about that?
I was bereft after my divorce. But I remembered Frankl’s book and did not let myself stay mired in pity. I knew I had a choice. I slowly did esteemable acts to increase my self-esteem. I tried 50 new things and learned from each one. I learned that courage is not the absence of fear, but feeling the fear and doing something that scares me anyway. For example, I am a terrible singer, but wanted to see what it felt like to sing in front of an audience. I went to an open mic and belted out a song on stage. I left to wan applause. I will not do it again, but it was a learning experience. I am less afraid to take the stage now for speaking engagements, as well.
Can you articulate why you think books in particular have the power to create movements, revolutions, and true change?
Books provide opportunities to reflect and to widen our perspective. We can learn new skills via books. We even can visit faraway lands vicariously through books. We can learn of injustices and do something about it. If we remain open, we contribute to the betterment of our society. I encourage readers to expand their genres. The world of books truly can serve as your oyster, full of pearls of wisdom.
A book has many aspects, of course. For example, you have the writing style, the narrative tense, the topic, the genre, the design, the cover, the size, etc. In your opinion, what are the main, essential ingredients needed to create a book that can change lives?
Unfortunately, if no one knows about a book, no one will read it. So, a necessary task for authors today is to market and publicize their books. Most authors prefer writing to marketing. But, to change lives, the author must get their message widely read, so that it is part of the public discourse.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started My Career” and why?
Seek out mentors. Asking for help is a sign of resourcefulness, not of fear. People usually will help you if you ask. When starting your career, you do not know what you do not know. Stay humble and seek to learn as much as possible.
Network. You never know how someone can help you in the future. I have been surprised when someone I knew at one job arose at another time in my career. Almost every job I have held was obtained by knowing someone who put in a good word for me. I received a recommendation from Vice President Mondale for a political appointment in the Clinton Administration. When I met Vice President Mondale, I had no idea that I would later ask him for a recommendation. And his opinion certainly carried weight.
It is likely that you will have more than one career. I majored in business management with a concentration in computer science. But then I became an attorney. Now I have added podcaster, public speaker, book marketer, journalist and author to my resume. So, don’t worry if you don’t love your first job. It may be a steppingstone to something that gives you more fulfillment.
Pay it forward. People will help you and people will need help. Those you help are likely to remember what you did for them. I got a legal position years after befriending an attorney and his family. He was willing to give me a chance to re-enter the job force as an attorney after staying home with my children for more than a decade.
Keep building your skills. Take opportunities for continuing education. Some employers will pay for this. In addition, there are many free learning opportunities online. I did not know when I started my career that I would become a public speaker at corporations and nonprofits, which yielded more opportunities and clients. I honed those skills after starting my career.
The world, of course, needs progress in many areas. What movement do you hope someone (or you!) starts next? Can you explain why that is so important?
Acceptance of others. Discrimination usually arises out of fear. The more we learn, the less we fear. Books can help, in this regard. Though discrimination is illegal, it still happens. So, we need to keep working on dismantling prejudice.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Please check out my website, www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com, and follow me on social media @FiftyAfter50. Also, please like my TEDx Talk, Turning Life’s Challenges Into a Force for Good: https://youtu.be/nR3cM9aRjes. Likes help to move it up in the visibility algorithm, and I think it has the capacity to help many people. Thank you!
Thank you so much for taking the time to share with us and our readers. We know that it will make a tremendous difference and impact thousands of lives. We are excited to connect further and we wish you so much joy in your next success.
https://medium.com/authority-magazine/maria-leonard-olsen-on-the-book-that-changed-her-life-1267fe875e96