New Piece for Authority Magazine on Sobriety

Remember that life will continue to present us with problems. Learn healthy ways of dealing with them. Surround yourself with people who are supportive and who have what you want. We tend to take on the characteristics of those with whom we spend the most time.

Ina world where the journey towards sobriety is often challenging and deeply personal, understanding the pathways and strategies for achieving and maintaining sobriety is crucial. This series aims to provide insight, encouragement, and practical advice for those who are on the road to recovery, as well as for their loved ones and support networks. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Maria Leonard Olsen.

Maria Leonard Olsen is a civil litigation attorney in Washington, D.C. She also is an author, journalist, TEDx speaker, podcaster and mentor to women in recovery. Learn more at www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com.

Thank you so much for joining us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?

Iwas born to a Filipina immigrant and Irish American father. As a biracial child, I often felt out of place. That feeling was compounded when my Catholic parents divorced and were excommunicated from the church. I discovered alcohol during my teen years, which was a temporary solution to my problems.

Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘takeaways’ you learned from that?

I became an attorney mostly to please my immigrant mother. While I have had a good career as a lawyer, it was not my passion. I learned that one should follow one’s own interests and try to find out what brings you joy before committing to a profession. I also learned that most people’s career paths are not linear, and that side gigs can be good ways to feed one’s passion.

You are a successful individual. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Resourcefulness is one. I may not know all of the answers, but I know how to find answers. I attended a top-ten law school and felt I was not as smart as my classmates. That was not true, but definitely affected my confidence level. I knew I was adept at finding the information I needed, and that helped with almost every success in my life.

Persistence is another. I work hard at things in which I am interested. If I receive a no, I find another way to approach a problem.

I also am a good networker. I maintain my contacts and help others when I can. I am good at interviewing people and eliciting helpful information. You never know when someone you meet can be in a position to help you one day.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that might help people?

I am writing two books — one on the unexpected consequences of consumer DNA tests and one tentatively called, 60 After 60: Finding Serenity in Your 60s or at Any Age. The latter is a sequel to my popular book, 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life. In 50 After 50, I write about my sobriety journey and how I moved past the destruction of my past.

Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of our interview. How would you advise individuals who are contemplating the journey to sobriety but might be hesitant or unsure about taking the first step? Are there key considerations or strategies that can make this initial phase more manageable?

First, you have to want to make a change. Ask yourself if you feel powerless over alcohol and if your life has become unmanageable because of your drinking. Maybe try not drinking for a month and see if your life improves. Consider attending an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Many are online. Try a few before discounting AA, though, since meetings differ based on the attendance. Find one in which you can relate to the people present.

Sobriety often comes with its unique set of challenges. Can you share insights on how individuals can effectively navigate obstacles or triggers that may arise during their journey? Are there specific tools or support systems that you find particularly helpful in overcoming these challenges?

I have found AA to be incredibly helpful. My sober sisters are like family to me and guided me and supported me through so much, especially in the beginning of my sobriety.

If you decide to live a sober life, avoid events in which there will be a lot of drinking until you are no longer tempted. If you find yourself in a situation in which alcohol is being served, remove yourself, or be of service to someone, like the party hosts. Always have a way to leave any event or situation. Keep numbers in your phone that you can call when feeling weak.

Maintaining sobriety is a long-term commitment. From your experience, what are the essential factors that contribute to the sustained success of individuals on this journey? Are there lifestyle adjustments or mindset shifts that prove crucial for the ongoing pursuit of sobriety?

In the beginning, it is important to avoid people or situations that might trigger a desire to drink. Develop a support group. Once you have some time sober, reflect on how much better your life is without alcohol. You likely will feel healthier, which may lead to more physical exercise, better sleep habits and better choices.

Here is our main question. Based on your research or experience, can you please share your “5 Things You Need To Begin, Navigate, & Sustain Sobriety”? (Please share a story or an example for each)

1 . Be honest with yourself. Is alcohol use doing anything beneficial for you? Has it destroyed relationships or opportunities for you? Wouldn’t it be nice to feel healthier and to have no secrets? If we are completely honest, those of us with alcohol problems will recognize that drinking is only a way to anesthetize one’s feelings and to avoid working on one’s problems. I worked with an AA sponsor to uncover traumas that were still affecting me and learned how to process them in a healthy way.

2 . Confront your fears. For most alcoholics, alcoholism is only a symptom of an underlying problem. What have you not processed in your life that is causing you to want to check out? I found that finding the right therapist helped me stop hiding my feelings.

3 . Get help. No one needs to try to get sober or to stay sober alone. There are many resources available. AA and other 12-step programs are free. Many employers have employee assistance programs, as well.

4 . Help another person. You can raise your self-esteem by doing esteemable acts. Get off of your pity pot and help someone who is suffering. I do what I can to pay forward my gift of sobriety. I sponsor and mentor other women who are struggling. It is a privilege for me to help someone find a better life.

5 . Remember that life will continue to present us with problems. Learn healthy ways of dealing with them. Surround yourself with people who are supportive and who have what you want. We tend to take on the characteristics of those with whom we spend the most time.

Community support plays a vital role in the journey to sobriety. How can individuals find and engage with supportive communities or resources that align with their specific needs and goals? Are there online platforms, local groups, or initiatives that you recommend for fostering a sense of connection and understanding during this process.

I am a believer in the 12-step programs of Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon and others. The 12-steps are a guide to being a good human, in my opinion. There are meetings online and almost everywhere. The meetings have people from all backgrounds. Alcoholism does not affect only certain demographics.

Joining other spiritual groups, like meditation communities, also helps. Such groups help foster a sense of connectedness with something bigger than oneself.

What is the best way for our readers to continue to follow your work online?

Sign up for my email list and learn about my work and events at www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow me on social media @mariaolsen49 and @fiftyafter50. Thanks!

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.

Source: https://medium.com/authority-magazine/maria-leonard-olsen-on-how-to-begin-navigate-sustain-sobriety-526d56685c7b